2014 BCS Computer Rankings
Morning all,
Due to popular demand/complaint/inquiry, we at commissioner
headquarters have decided to reveal the computer rankings published back in
week 15 of the NFFL season.
The criteria was two-folder- first, I assigned each team the
movie that best summarized their season.
I focused on the late nineties to keep it simple but some films did
sneak out of that time block and some of the following might questionably be
called ‘films’. Tough shit. Then, I ranked them based on just how much I
enjoyed them.
Without further ado…
12. Nemo- Twister
A tough, tough year for Nemo as no matter how much he chased
it, the fantasy gods responded with another cruel twist of fate- by the end of
the season, not much remained that resembled the original landscape.
11. Thompson- Home Alone
Like the antagonists, this team endured a ton of punishment-
the injury to Newton being most disappointing.
The best that Thompson can do here is to hope that there is no sequel.
10. Malinn- The Sixth Sense
I have to admit that I barely had a clue about what was
going on throughout this team’s season but, in the end, turns out the team’s
playoff chances were dead all along.
9. Tighe- Star Wars, Episode I
The much anticipated sequel to last year’s championship
winner turned out to be a big disappointment.
8. Arbo- Jurassic Park
Hey guys, I have an idea- let’s resurrect Brett’s extinct
team using some of the leftover DNA and hand the reins over to Arbo. What could possibly go wrong?
7. Concannon- The Replacements
A fairly well regarded team saw the disappearance of the
overrated star QB (Romo) coincide with what was surely the end of all playoff
hopes. But, the team was still able to
sneak into the playoffs behind the washed up arm of the former college star
(Sanchez).
6. Curran- Jerry Maguire
After leaving quite a few dollars on the table in the
auction (SHOW ME THE MONEY!!!) and being let down by the pretty boy first round
pick Tannehill, Curran can watch on with pride as the many rookie players that
he believed in begin to show true NFL promise.
5. DFlam- The Real Slim Shady Video
Just a shambles the entire way- no one knew which player
would make a fool of himself next. Will
a real quarterback please stand up?
4. Lee- Liar Liar
Where to begin…
3. TMac- Gladiator
TMac, usurped of a league crown by Lee early on, vows to get
revenge and defend the concept of the ‘old league’ by battling face to face
with the new emperor. A valiant effort
wins him the respect of all but ultimately his squad dies trying- at least Lee,
too, was ultimately vanquished.
2. Sean- Jingle All The Way
A farce of a season which saw a number of overmatched owners
waste considerable time and energy pursuing the mythical Turboman- Carlos Hyde-
Sean may have cost himself a shot a championship by refusing to fork him over
for what was rumored to be several first round draft picks and a minute alone
with Malinn’s liquor cabinet.
1. Wiseman- Shawshank Redemption
Wrongfully accused of being a good team and living that lie
in the prison of the league standings all season, Wiseman finally gained his
freedom by crawling through 66 points of shit-smelling foulness in the first
qualifying playoff round.
Hey kids…
The NFFL 2014 season winds down to a conclusion as founding
fathers Tighe and Concannon square off for the right to receive 500 poorly
constructed trade offers from Lee this offseason.
As usual, week 17 presents a series of playing time questions
that generally go unasked during the bulk of the NFL season- who will sit, who
will play, etc- and the impact on fantasy matchups can be significant. Fortunately, NFL teams tend to play hard
despite being eliminated and this year's most likely candidates for
playoff-rest (Indianapolis, New England) do not see any star names on these two
resilient rosters.
Broadly speaking, these two rosters feature opposing
approaches and those differences have only become more exaggerated over the
month of December. Tighe's squad is a
classic stars and scrubs approach- Brees, Rodgers, Lacy, the Thomas Twins-
while Concannon counters with a deeper unit that includes a league record
fifteen (approximately) flex level running backs.
Key games on the schedule in the context of this matchup
include Denver-Oakland (Thomas x2 vs. Murray) and Green Bay-Detroit
(Rodgers/Lacy v Bell). If Mason is
benched due to a shaky matchup with Seattle, add Indianapolis to that list
(Moncrief v Herron).
Key Players
Tighe- Pick a Thomas…big games this season have been driven
by big Denver performances and week 17 should be no exception. Manning has looked shaky of late and the
Thomas twins have suffered- look for a classic Manning performance against one
of the worst teams in the league to get the talking heads yapping and Tighe's
point total rolling.
Concannon- Flacco.
Subject to a trade between these two squads in mid-season, Flacco put up
a major stinker last week and a repeat
showing could turn a 'consistent' team into a mediocre one quickly. With Baltimore needing a playoff push against
an eliminated opponent, I like his odds to get back on track before having his
rights shipped to Thompson in the offseason.
Prediction?
As long as everyone gets equal playing time and a trophy
afterward, I'll be happy. Would be nice
to scoop up that one pick, though.
What next?
I am going to try and get everything done ASAP this year in
terms of being ready to auction next summer.
That means numbers, getting rules down on paper, etc. Obviously, I say I’ll do this every year, so
be skeptical, but I think I have a good setup this time around.
Any ideas or suggestions- send my way.
Any potentially helpful documents- my way, please.
Rule changes- let me know- I love discussing rule changes.
Tim
